Pick up any research or study, and one thing will be for certain: porn and marriage don’t exactly go hand in hand. While we’re quick to brush these studies that propping up aside every now and then, have you ever considered the effect porn use has on a relationship?
Porn and Marriage in the Digital Age
With the onset of the digital era, porn has become much more readily available than it was 20 years ago. The continual improvements in internet speed and private mobile phones and laptops have further made porn usage common, especially among the younger generation. 93.2% of boys start watching porn from the age of 18, which means that it is likely to become a habit as they grow up and get into a serious relationship or marriage.
For years, marriage counsellors and psychiatrists have tried to find the link between failed marriages and porn usage. While there may not be clear a direct causal relationship, it definitely has some impact on the partner, unnerving the foundation of the marriage. However, if we go by research, Unites States Senate, Dr. Jill Manning, displayed a study that showed 56% of divorce cases were centred on one person having an obsession with porn.
How Porn Affects Your marriage
So what causes this? The link between failed marriages and porn usage can be identified by assessing how porn affects your spouse.
Lack of Trust
While this mainly depends on the boundaries two people set in their relationship, porn does induce a lack of trust in a relationship. However, research still shows that men are three times more likely to hide their porn history from their partners. While porn usage doesn’t qualify as cheating, it can create mistrust if one partner, who is usually the husband, hides this from their spouse.
In a rather dangerous turn of events, there has been a link found between infidelity and porn usage too. Porn sets really high expectations of what sex should look like. When a partner doesn’t meet these (unattainable) standards, the person in question might look for pleasure elsewhere. This may etch the feeling of mistrust in your partner, which can’t be healthy for a relationship.
Affects Confidence
If your partner doesn’t watch porn, they might constantly wonder what these porn actors offer that they don’t. This spirals them into a web of insecurity. They may even start to question their performance in bed. When a spouse feels inadequate, they would be more likely to retreat, and this may lead to a lack of physical intimacy between partners.
In reality, many people claim they find their spouse more attractive than actors in porn movies but this doesn’t reduce the effect on your partner’s self-esteem. Women especially might start to idealize the porn actor’s bodies and feel their self confidence withering away.
Reduces Intimacy
Porn watchers often create such high expectations of physical intimacy that they can’t possibly feel satisfied with how sex is like in real life. They may constantly compare their partner to an exaggerated and false illusion, which may create a dent in your physical intimacy.
While people use porn to spice up their sex lives, it can prove counterproductive too. Frequent porn users may find sexual gratification from watching porn movies, and this may further reduce sexual intimacy with your real partner.
Final Word
To be clear, not all porn watchers experience problems in their relationship. However, more often than not, porn violates relationship boundaries and may adversely affect your partner. So if you’re dealing with porn addiction, seeking help can save your relationship.
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